Why Great Leaders Manage Their Own Reaction Before Leading Others Through Change

When you lead through change, everyone looks to you first.

They look for reassurance. For confidence. For clarity. But here’s the part no one talks about: who’s looking out for you?

Think about the line you hear every time you fly:

“Put your oxygen mask on before helping others.”

It’s simple. It’s clear. And it’s what keeps you effective in a moment of crisis. Not because your needs matter more— but because you can’t help others if you can’t breathe.

The same is true in leadership—especially during change.

Leadership Requires Emotional Awareness

Too many leaders think their job is to push down their own reactions in service of “being strong.” But emotional suppression doesn’t build strength—it builds burnout, resentment, and disconnection.

The best leaders don’t ignore their reactions. They recognize them, process them, and lead from a grounded place.

When change hits, leaders may feel:

Frustrated by the pace or direction
Left out of decisions, even while delivering them
Torn between loyalty to leadership and responsibility to their team
Disconnected from their own voice in the process

Your reaction—just like your team’s—is a valid part of the change experience.

When You Ignore It, It Shows Up Anyway

If you skip your own emotional check-in, it leaks out in other ways:

Tension in meetings
Shorter patience with your team
Going through the motions, disconnected from the mission

Your people can feel when you’re carrying something heavy you haven’t named. When you take the time to check in with yourself first, you create space to lead with clarity, calm, and compassion.

That’s not indulgent. That’s responsible leadership.

What Grounded Leadership Looks Like

Here are practical ways to process your own reaction, so you can lead others through theirs:

✔ Name it. Confused? Frustrated? Disconnected? Call it what it is.

✔ Talk it through. Peers, mentors, coaches—leaders need safe spaces too.

✔ Focus on what you can control. What part of the experience can you shape—even if the change itself is non-negotiable?

✔ Reconnect to the why. What do you want to protect, champion, or shape through this?

Then—and Only Then—Lead Others

Lead Others With Intention

Once you’ve put your own “oxygen mask” on, you’re ready to guide others.

That means:

Modeling calm without pretending you have every answer
Creating space for your team to process uncertainty and frustration
Helping people move from reaction to re-engagement

You can’t shortcut the emotional side of change. But you can walk through it with your team—if you’ve walked it for yourself first.

Final Thought

In times of change, your presence matters more than your perfection.

Leadership isn’t about ignoring your emotional response—it’s about managing it with intention so you can lead others with empathy and strength.

You’re not just a messenger. You’re human in the middle of change. Take care of yourself, too.

Put Your Oxygen Mask on First